Swiss to take the hole out of Swiss Cheese

In a brave and dramatic move, Wilkbur Offenkaas, announced that the Swiss are to remove all of the holes from their famous Swiss Cheese. The additional cheese used to fill in the holes will allow the Swiss Cheese companies to make more money. A German importer, GuntenKaas, has complained about the 30% increase in price.

An American, Dewit Kreuger, said, "cripes now we will not be able to put mustard between the holes,I think this is a disgrace".

Offenkaas plans to force their existing workers to work even harder to produce the extra cheese.

On a related note, Dunkin Donuts has announced that all newly produced donuts will no longer feature a hole in the middle. Mysteriously, though, they will continue to produce their "Munchkins" donut holes.