World News Organization Announces No News Day
By Ed 'Hack' Wheely
Posted on February 1, 2000 9:24 am, in News Byproducts
Seattle (NBp) - Experts at the World News Organization (WNO) reported today that they are unable to locate any actual news that is occurring. Rivals at News of America (NoA) think that the WNO is just being lazy.
"Our 15,000 member reporters are spread out throughout the world, and none of them has reported anything interesting to us today," announced WNO chairman Milt Edwards. "If we hear something, you, the news viewing public will be the first to know."
"When we can't find any real news, we'll just break some story about how Vitamin E is a miracle cure or causes cancer or something," proclaimed NoA president Sy Greblek. "There's always got to be some story to run."
FROM THE WNO NEWS DESK - THIS JUST IN!
Firefighters in Tampa, Florida have rescued a six month old kitten from a tree. The feline had climbed up the tree and was unable to get down. Fire trucks from seven stations reported to the scene, and the fire crew of 17 were able to build a human pyramid to lower the cat to safety.