Alien Life Not Impressed By Voyager

Old, creaky and spinning like a walrus in a basket, the shiny Voyager 1 space probe has reached a race of super-intelligent stellar beings who have revealed that they are more than a little disappointed with the craft...

The aliens revealed that they were less than impressed by the crude renditions of the human form. "My 400 year old son could have done better" said The Unspeakable One. Similarly the use of lines to portray some kind of intelligence was "laughable to say the least".

Remarks were also made as to human kinds musical taste. "You actually listen to this fouking crap?" asked one bemused alien. Although the many voices and languages from around the world were thought to have been a 'good idea' at the time, this is one party NASA failed to bring the beer for.

It wasn't all bad news however. One alien did confess to liking one aspect of the craft. "We did very much like the shiny dish and the way it span. Now that was cool".

In closing The Gargantuan One noted "This probe is like one big advert asking us to invade. 'Look - stupid humans' it says. You're just lucky we are nice".