Microsoft Unveils Puff Daddy 2000

Redmond (NBp) - Software giant Microsoft today announced its latest foray into the entertainment business with Microsoft Puff Daddy 2000. For the past year, Microsoft has worked with Puff Daddy on the software, which allows you to take old songs and automatically turn them into something new.

"For more than 10 years, Madonna's Like A Prayer has been the same every time I've listened to it," explained Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. "Now, I can listen to the song in a new way. A Puff Daddy way."

MS Puff Daddy 2000 automatically takes a song, adds a new drum beat, a heavier bass line, and replaces the vocal during the verses with a rap. The rap is created randomly as well, and uses actual sound samples of Puff Daddy's voice.

Puffy is reportedly so pleased with the new product that his forthcoming album The Puff Be Told was produced with the software. He used the special DoubleMix(tm) feature of the program for his first single: My Heart Will Go On In 1812, which is based on the Titanic hit and Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

Microsoft also announced MS Puff Daddy Free, a free version of the software. The only difference between the two versions is that the raps created by the free version of the product are about various products including the Wendy's Spicy Chicken sandwich and AT&T's One Rate 7 Cents plan.

Microsoft is rumored to be planning a new program called Microsoft Director's Cut that will take any movie and create a new ending in which all of the major characters die. Microsoft research has shown that this type of ending is usually what directors want, but the studios cut the ending to improve the movie's mass appeal.