US Outlaws '2K' and 'Millenium'

Washington (NBp) - A group of government officials, representing all three branches of the federal government, jointly announced that the word "millenium" and the monikers "2K" and "2000" can no longer be used in product names or commercials.

"Certainly, I am as concerned as any other American citizen about any reduction in freedom of speech," said Senator Reese Spoonweather (R-Guam). "But what's the point of having freedom of speech if all anyone can come up with is 'millenium' or '2K'?"

The new law, which the Supreme Court has announced it will uphold, also states that any products already named with the banned words must be changed within 60 days. Software giant Microsoft has announced that it is changing the name of "Office 2000" and its forthcoming "Windows 2000" to "Office 1999+1" and "Windows 1999+1" to comply with the new law.

Musical groups have been hit by the new law, too. Rockers Queensryche will have to change their "Q2K" album. The Backstreet Boys are changing the name of their album "Millenium" to "We Wanted It That Way". Will Smith's forthcoming "Willenium" album, featuring the single "Will2K", has been scrapped altogether.

Ironically, the new law has also hit politicians. Since 2000 is the next election year, this legislation forbids the candidates from slogans like "Joe in 2000". Lawmakers insist that this law is necessary for the good of the people.

Congress came two votes short of outlawing 20th century retrospectives, with many in Congress concerned that there won't be anything else to watch on TV or read in magazines for the next four months.

When asked about the new law, some citizens were upbeat. "At least we still have our guns," explained one Texan.