New Record Set

Nepal (NBp) - Officials from the Grinner's Book of World Records announced that a new record was set today. NBp was on location in Nepal to catch the action firsthand. NBp was, in fact, the only media organization on hand to record the quarrel between Grinner's officials.

"Today, we would like to formally recognize the new World's Record for the longest yak hair at 10 feet, 7.3 inches," announced recordmaster Hal Greensmith.

"Hal, that was yesterday," interjected assistant recordmaster Leroy Rustman. "Today's record is for the longest time spent with tongue attached to a flagpole."

"Are you sure," asked double assistant recordmaster Elroy Greenrust. "I had been measuring the new record for largest flared nostrils."

"Shut up," yelled Greensmith.

Greensmith continued. "Today, I would like to officially announce that the Grinner's Book of World Records has once again recorded the largest, fastest, longest, biggest, smallest, tallest or something else ending in "est" thing of a particular type. All of humankind should be proud to have either accomplished this, been born this way, or have had the persistence to discover something like this. This is all just one more sign of how humans are deservedly the dominant species on the planet."