Waco, Texas (NBp) - NBp, a bastion of investigative journalism, today discovered the truth of what happened in Waco on that fateful day. We cornered a handful of FBI agents on their way to lunch and interviewed them. The following is the unaltered transcript of that interview.

NBp: There's no point in beating around the bush. Did you use incendiary devices in the standoff at Waco?

Agent 1: No

Agent 2: No

Agent 3: No

Agent 1: A bit

Agent 3: A bit

Agent 1: Well, we did use a little one.

Agent 2: But, they had guns!

Agent 3: Yeah!

Attorney General Janet Reno was unavailable to NBp for comment. However, we did talk to Janet Reno's secretary's assistant's daughter, who is occasionally forced to spend time at her mother's office. She stated that Reno was "furious". Sources confirm that this is the sixth straight day in which the normally "angry" Reno was, in fact, furious.

In addition to the agents' admission that the incendiary tear gas canisters were used at Waco, the FBI has produced videotapes, written instructions on the use of the canisters, and the original canisters themselves. The FBI collectively insists that it did nothing wrong because no one asked specifically, "do you have the tear gas canisters that were used at Waco?"

Republicans have been quick to criticize the handling of the case by the FBI and the Justice Department, stating "if there is any possibility of wrongdoing that we can use to gain leverage in an election situation, then we are willing to spend any amount of taxpayer money to get to the bottom of it."