Albuquerque (NBp) - A group of terrorists have stolen a significant quantity of hi-grade cesium from the Insecure National Laboratory (INL). It is believed that these terrorists intend to build an Atomic Clock, and have possibly already done so.

This photo shows an Atomic Clock that the 'Carbon Haters of America' attempted to build in 1971. They were thwarted by a crack team of high school students that smelled something funny.

Thus far, seventeen terrorist groups have claimed responsibility for the theft. Three of them, the International Lefties Front, Penguin Strike Force and the North Albuquerque Parent-Teacher Organization, are believed to be capable of the crime.

"If they unleash this Atomic Clock on a large city, like New York, the consequences could be devastating," explained Alfred Cornblum, noted author of I Think Terrorists Are All Big, Bad Meanies And They Should Be Taught A Good Lesson. "Millions of people could be late for work, TV shows will come on at the wrong times... worse yet, the buses might be on time! People count on buses not being on schedule. This will throw everything off."

The Atomic Clock can also be used by the terrorists to help synchronize their watches. As everyone knows, any mission requires watch synchronization before the mission begins. These terrorists may now be able to launch an attack with amazing accuracy.

NBp spoke with US government officials about the matter. They insist that the Atomic Clock cannot be used for anything dangerous. Other experts, like Cornblum, say that it can.

"If it has the word 'atomic' in it, I don't want to be near it," emphasized Cornblum.