Langley (NBp) - With the Cold War over, the Central Intelligence Agency has found its usefulness diminishing. After the recent Chinese Embassy snafu, the CIA is looking for new ways to keep going.

This CIA officer works on these massive computers that have been storing information since the early 1900s.

The CIA service includes the following options:

• Find anyone, anywhere in the world. Usually within 24 hours.
• Get the credit report, tax returns, school grades, pay stubs, phone call recordings, etc. for any US citizen (and many citizens from other countries!)
• Instigate IRS audits (for an additional fee)

"And, don't forget that we are licensed to use force when necessary," points out Flibaum.

This new service is expected to bring the CIA much needed money to keep it going despite Congressional budget cuts.