NATO to Send Peacekeeping Force to Wichita

Byproducts.com Fake News / Real Novelties

By Ed 'Hack' Wheely
Posted on June 4, 1999 8:32 am, in News Byproducts

Wichita, KS (NBp) - NATO announced plans today to send a peacekeeping force into a home in Wichita, Kansas to stave off fighting between Jack and Jane Grimley.

The Grimleys have been at odds for four days now, and experts have been unable to discover the source of the friction and put an end to the conflict.

"I thought this had something to do with Jack leaving the toilet seat up," stated area counselor Frieda Cornblum. "But now I see that it goes much deeper than that."

The use of ground troops in this conflict is a very controversial subject, but NATO commanders have said that there is no alternative.

Operation Grim Peace seeks to restore peace and tranquility to this small Kansas home.

According to Brigadier General Edward Solomon, "We considered an air-only offensive, but even our most accurate weapons would have ended up destroying the whole neighborhood. That problem is compounded by the fact that we're not sure what to blow up. We do not expect any casualties among the ground forces we are sending in, anyhow."

In a press conference on the matter, President Clinton proclaimed that peace will come to the Grimley household. "I envision a world in which little Joy Grimley can be happy once more. This senseless conflict needs to stop and NATO is firm in its resolve."

"Operation Grim Peace", as this new mission is called, is expected to start within 24 hours and involve a multinational force of 2,000.

Legal Info