Ronald McDonald Accused of Spying

Moscow (NBp) - In the latest round of the US-Russian tensions over alleged spying, Russia has expelled Ronald McDonald, the clown spokesman at the popular Moscow McDonalds, for spying. This came as a big surprise to many who believe that Hamburglar is a much more likely criminal than the mild-mannered Ronald.

The expulsion of Ronald comes just days after the US expelled workers at a Smirnoff vodka factory. The US insisted that those workers were spying for Russia, despite the fact that many were born in the US and had never left the country in their lives.

Political analysts say that the situation could become worse, if the panic over spies spreads beyond the US and Russia. For example, the CIA is rumored to be considering the expulsion of the Taco Bell chihuahua. The Kremlin has already banned Santa Claus from Russian airspace, believing that Jolly St. Nick intends to take spy photographs.

Rumors that the Democrats are considering expelling George W. Bush for spying in an effort to help Vice President Al Gore's campaign are also running rampant.