George W. Bush Gives First Non-Sequitur Speech

Texas (NBp) - In a surprise campaign move, doubtless designed to catch his opponents off guard, presidential candidate George W. Bush today gave a non-sequitur speech, in which no two sentences were linked to the others.

Bush's speech began, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Madison Square Garden. Is that your final answer? Despite all of the cows in Chicago, George Foreman is still quite a boxer. Lady and the Tramp is still my favorite Disney movie. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?"

Political speeches that make no sense or follow an unusual format have become quite popular ever since Perot's running mate confused viewers during a debate in the '96 election by completely failing to state anything with substance. Other candidates are already working on plans to one-up Bush. NBp insiders report the following:

• Bill Bradley is planning a speech consisting completely of haikus.
• Al Gore plans to give a fund raising address in pig latin after a full 5 minutes of yodeling
• Unannounced candidate Donald Trump plans to announce his platform in the style of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?. The questions will be about his beliefs, and a lucky member of the press will be able to try to guess the answers and win up to $1 million.

These unorthodox campaign tactics are sure to be followed with a call for "concentrating on the issues" which, of course, precedes the standard election mudslinging.