David Hasselhoff to Revive Star Crash

Australia (NBp) - David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch, one of the world's most popular shows, has launched a new movie project. On the 20th anniversary of the original, Hasselhoff announced that production has begun on Star Crash 2000.

"Star Crash had all of the elements that serious sci-fi fans want: action, special effects, a plot that affects the entire universe and it's all tied together with solid acting and writing," explained Hasselhoff. "To this day, I'm still not certain why it failed to do as well as Star Wars."

Hasselhoff's role in the new film is greatly expanded over his role in the original. Star Crash 2000 begins on the frozen planet of Grunties, where a puppet with long ears will train Hasselhoff in an ancient fighting technique called Yedie.

After Grunties, the action will mysteriously shift to the other side of the galaxy, where Hasselhoff will be fighting with Dark Yedies and will make proclamations like "there's no place for the likes of you in this galaxy" and "I bet there's a lesson to be learned in here somewhere."

There has been no word yet on whether Christopher Plummer will revisit his role as Emperor of the Universe.

Ed. note: I realize that this article makes some assumptions about you having seen Star Crash, and I realize that odds are that you have not seen it. However, if you're looking for a really funny piece of bad movie making, this is it. You can't get much badder than Star Crash.