World Ant Population Surpasses 1 Quadrillion

Hamburg, Germany (NBp) - The very same day that it was announced that the world human population has exceeded 6 billion, the World Ant Organization (WAO) announced that the ant population has swelled to over 1 quadrillion (1 million billion, a number so staggeringly huge that we won't even bother to come up with an analogy to create perspective).

"Many ants don't realize that there are now more than 250 trillion ants that are one to two months old," explained Queen FJdkairaAess of a colony located just outside Houston. "Soon, these ants will be going out to build even larger colonies. With proper colony planning, we should be able to grow comfortably."

The WAO is sponsoring a convention for ant leaders to take place in Hamburg next summer. A pamphlet, Using Humans To Travel Long Distances In Style, is being distributed to help ants to get there. Topics to be discussed include:

• Dirt: Is there enough?
• Humans: Curse or Source of Good Food? (Includes discussion on best restaurants of which to live outside)
• How Not To Be Seen

The WAO estimates that there are more than 1 billion ants born every minute. At this rate of population growth, there will be no more space for ants on this planet sometime in the year 4321. Plans are already forming to make a bridge of ants leading to Mars. The construction is expected to take 3,000 generations and more ants than you can shake a stick at.